Category Archives: Uncategorized

Good evening, Azerbaijan calling!

Can you hear that? It’s the sound of broken English, tear-away costumes, commercial grade gale force-wind-creating fans and numerous mimed instruments.

It’s Eurovision weekend!!!

I for one can’t wait to see these old Russian broads bring the house down with their sure fire hit Party For Everybody. Step off LMFAO with your tight pants, shuffling and whatnot – these bitches be  wearing quilts so you know they’re gonna bring it!

Seriously though, Eurovision is like Christmas for me…a much tackier and trashier Christmas.

Truth be told, I have been slightly disappointed the past few years as the competition has seen the inclusion of way too many ballads for my liking. Crazy upbeat hits with choreography and costumes so bizarre they leave you  simultaneously confused, terrified, and thoroughly entertained is where it’s at for me. The addition of pyrotechnics never hurts either. Fingers crossed 2012 brings the goods!

This year Sweden is odds on favourite with Euphoria sung by Loreen. How the bookies could put her above the Russian Babushka dolls I will never know. As for the UK…I know what you’re thinking…how could they possibly top last years entrant, washed up boy band Blue??! Fear not – they’ve done it! Ol’ Engelbert Humperdinck is breaking out the zimmer frame and hitting the stage with Love Will Set You Free. Who is going to tell them it’s time they respectfully back away from the competition? I mean, I know they are part of Europe, but come on.

It all kicks off tonight on SBS with the first semi final at 8:30pm. Though, if you truly want to immerse yourself in all things eurovision, tune in at 7:30pm for Julia Zemiro’s The Road To Eurovision.

I will leave you with one of my all time favourite Eurovision winners – the almighty Lordi

I also want to give the 2008 winner an honourable mention for the inclusion of a random ice-skater at about the 1:56min mark. I also  rate the finish – brilliant.

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Get Bent!

See what I did there? That’s the name of the TV show I’m about to discuss, turned into a Bart Simpson quote…despite the fact that this show has absolutely NOTHING to do with The Simpsons! Genius? Or merely a lack of creativity in the subject writing department?? I think we all know the answer.

Bent, a new single-camera comedy from universal, is the fact that  Jeffrey Tambour is in the cast. That is all.

The synopsis doesn’t thrill me:

The recently divorced Alex is a hard-working, high-strung lawyer who is raising her 10-year-old daughter, Charlie, as a single mom following her husband’s incarceration for insider trading. Unwilling to let anything get in her way, she downsizes into a smaller house and hires charismatic Pete, a free-spirited ladies man and recovering gambling addict who desperately needs this gig with Alex to jumpstart his life — and prove that he is no longer a screw-up. Upon hiring him, Alex quickly realizes that she has met her match in Pete, who — along with his motley construction crew – will not only tear apart her kitchen, but transform her worldview in the process.

However, with Jeff onboard, I’m willing to give it a go.  It’s produced by Tad Quill, who had a hand in such things as Scrubs and Spin City, both of which had some entertaining moments.

Who wants regular legs when you could have shotguns?

I just caught a glimpse at the trailer for Piranha 3DD (it’s pronounced Piranha 3 double D) the extra D is for extra big boobs…so that should give you an adequate indication of where this movie sits on the quality scale.

At first glance it looks like just your run-of-the-mill-chicks-in-bikinis-getting-attacked-in-the-vagina-by-piranhas flick…

…and it is.

But it also offers much, much more than that: Christopher Lloyd as a marine biologist, a cheesy cameo by David Hasselhoff (in full Baywatch attire), Ving Rhames with shotguns for legs and Gary Busey biting a piranha’s head off.

Will I be watching it? Yes, yes I will.

Watch the official Piranha 3DD trailer here!

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Praise be to those who create giffs

I really wish I knew how to create these magical moving pictures with hilarious captions…but I do not. Luckily, there are loads of creative and time rich people out there who do know their way around such things and, therefore, help us to relive fun TV moments in snippet form over and over again.

This was easily my favourite part of this weeks ep of 30 Rock.

Jack: It’s the ultimate game…Jack Donaghy, playing with himself. It’s a Jack-off.

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