Can you hear that? It’s the sound of broken English, tear-away costumes, commercial grade gale force-wind-creating fans and numerous mimed instruments.
It’s Eurovision weekend!!!
I for one can’t wait to see these old Russian broads bring the house down with their sure fire hit Party For Everybody. Step off LMFAO with your tight pants, shuffling and whatnot – these bitches be wearing quilts so you know they’re gonna bring it!
Seriously though, Eurovision is like Christmas for me…a much tackier and trashier Christmas.
Truth be told, I have been slightly disappointed the past few years as the competition has seen the inclusion of way too many ballads for my liking. Crazy upbeat hits with choreography and costumes so bizarre they leave you simultaneously confused, terrified, and thoroughly entertained is where it’s at for me. The addition of pyrotechnics never hurts either. Fingers crossed 2012 brings the goods!
This year Sweden is odds on favourite with Euphoria sung by Loreen. How the bookies could put her above the Russian Babushka dolls I will never know. As for the UK…I know what you’re thinking…how could they possibly top last years entrant, washed up boy band Blue??! Fear not – they’ve done it! Ol’ Engelbert Humperdinck is breaking out the zimmer frame and hitting the stage with Love Will Set You Free. Who is going to tell them it’s time they respectfully back away from the competition? I mean, I know they are part of Europe, but come on.
It all kicks off tonight on SBS with the first semi final at 8:30pm. Though, if you truly want to immerse yourself in all things eurovision, tune in at 7:30pm for Julia Zemiro’s The Road To Eurovision.
I will leave you with one of my all time favourite Eurovision winners – the almighty Lordi
I also want to give the 2008 winner an honourable mention for the inclusion of a random ice-skater at about the 1:56min mark. I also rate the finish – brilliant.