Ever wished Matthew McConaughey would keep his shirt on?

Well your shit out of luck.

McConaughey’s aversion to any form of fabric covering his chesticals is alive and well in what will no doubt be a hard-hitting piece…about an old stripper…teaching a young stripper… how to party….and pick up women.

Wow.

C. Tate and M. Mac better take a break from oiling up their bods to clear some room for all the Oscars.

Seriously though – why is this happening? Is this really the best hollywood has to offer? Really??? I feel like I am falling into a dark abyss from which I will never escape. Will the sun ever shine again??

Aaaw shiiiiit….motivational McConaughey knows how to make everything allllright.

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